On This Crisp, Early Elul Morning ...

An early crisp Elul morning like this one moves me to teshuva. But not teshuva for things done wrong, though they're there; and not for insensitivities, though they're there, too; but rather for my overarching error of always forgotting the point of it all, my tachlis. For as I'd word it in the spirit of the anonymous sefer B'levavi Mishkan Eboneh, "Tachlis d'chayi, deveikus b'Bori" -- My whole raison d'etre is to adhere onto and fully sense G-d's Presence.

So I present this translation of Rabbeinu Yonah's prayer for teshuvah in that vein.

"G-d Almighty, I’ve been sinning accidentally, deliberately and rebelliously from the day I was born to today. But my heart has now propelled me upward, and my spirit has persuaded me to return to You honestly, with the best of intentions and completely; with all my heart, soul and might. In order to 'admit and let go', to cast off all my acts of defiance; and to restore heart and soul, and be earnest in my devotion to You.

"G-d Almighty, You who open Your arms to accept tshuvah and help those who come to cleanse themselves: Please open Your arms to accept my full tshuvah. Help me be firm in my devotion to You, to resist the Antagonist who confronts me cunningly and wants to kill me, and to defy his command over me. Keep him from the whole of me, fling him into the depths of the sea, and order him never to set himself against me to antagonize me. See to it that I go in Your ways by replacing my stone heart with one of flesh.

"G-d Almighty, hear out Your servant’s prayers and pleas, and accept my tshuvah. Don’t let any of my accidental or deliberate sins obstruct my tshuvah or prayer. And allow a sincere Advocate to offer my prayers to You, at Your place of honor. But if because of the number and seriousness of my sins I haven’t a sincere Advocate, then dig down from beneath Your place of honor Yourself and accept my tshuvah. See to it that I never return wanting from before You, Who hears out prayers."

(c) 2005 Rabbi Yaakov Feldman